It was the crack of dawn at Site-██, Drago sat in his office taping his pencil on his desk. He sipped his mug of mocha and continued to stare at his blank screen. It was a dull morning, tired, Drago soon fell asleep...until awoken by the sound of light pounding coming from behind the door. He punched the passcode and was greeted by Malfrous. "Hey, Drago! Want to do some testing with us?" Drago took a long pause and then asked "Who's...'us'?" Malfrous chuckled and replied "Woods and Hudson of course!" Drago thought in his mind if Malfrous was drunk again, so he questioned him "Malfrous, have you've been drinking again? Woods and Hudson are dead." Malfrous moved to the side and there stood Woods and Hudson, in healthy condition. "What- How are you two still alive?!" stuttered Drago. "Welcome, one and all, to Non-canonmageddon!" shouted Malfrous.
"Malfrous...did you just break the fourth wall?" questioned Drago. "Of course not, uh...perhaps. I don't exactly know. But, anything that we do does not effect our lores!" replied Malfrous. "Yeah, so I can do this." Woods said, pulling out a knife then stabbing Drago through the torso. Drago fell down on the ground, bleeding. "(gg.)" Malfrous said after watching Drago's corpse disappear. ":tp me nanu" Drago typed "So, do you want to come along with us or not?" asked Malfrous. "Yeah, sure if I don't get impaled with a knife." Drago replied with a sarcastic tone. Hudson laughed and shot him through the skull with a FiveSeven. His corpse collapsed once again and bled to death. ":kick ninja" Drago typed. "(XD)" laughed Malfrous.
"Okay, let's start the testing." The three men walked, hallway through hallway until they reached to their destination; The D-Class cells. Before they could open up one of the chambers, an announcement was heard through the intercom, "Parkswo- I mean, 'AIRK-01' has been spotted outside of Gate A, I repeat. AIRK-01 is outside of Gat- WHO THE HELL GAVE HIM ADMIN COMMANDS?! OH SH-', the sound was cut off, "What has Fartswood done now..." Malfrous questioned with curiousity. The two other men snickered, "Wait, did he say something about...AIRK-01 having admin commands?" Woods asked, followed by a loud rumble. "Shit..." Drago cursed under his breath.
Outside, stood AIRK-01, he took a glimpse of his surroundings and encountered a couple of personnel standing, staring toward him with confused, frightened and worried faces. He then spoke, "For one trillion years I've been trapped in my own decaying dimension, waiting for a new universe to call my own. Name's Jake! But you can call me your new lord and master for all of eternity!" Rising up from the elevators, there stood the three men, "Go away ya' Cipher-clone!" shouted Drago, throwing a nearby stone at him. It vaporized by one touch by AIRK-01, "You think a rock can stop me? HAHHAH! I own this is my world now!", the floor he was standing on started to rise up into the air, it tore away from the ground and was floating in mid air. "I'd like all of you to meet my friends!" Behind him, he formed the other AIRKs. He lit the area into flames, changes the sky into a darkish red and turnt off all of the lights. "Welcome, one and all, to Weirdma- I mean, uh...AIRKmaggeddon?"
Malfrous spoke up, "This isn't 'AIRKmaggeddon'" "This is Non-canonmaggedon." "What the hell is up with all these 'maggedon's?!" Woods shouted in confusion, "Just...Gravity Falls references." mumbled Drago. "Non-canon?" questioned AIRK-01 "Yep, so that means whatever you do here, does not effect anything in our lores!" explained Malfrous. "Soo...I can do this?" AIRK-01 then levitated Malfrous, and flung him into the mountains, breaking his internal rib cage. "CLONING TECH!" yelled Malfrous, reappearing behind them. "This is a waste of time, alright gang! Let's go cause some chaos!" ordered AIRK-01.
Waiting below them at the elevators, was a team of Mobile Task Force. They had their P90s loaded up, and ready to terminate AIRK-01. They heard the sound of the elevator moving down, they aimed at where the sound was coming from, and got ready to fire. The elevator stopped moving...and then a "ding!" was heard, followed by silence. Then, out came all of the multiple forms of AIRK-01, lunging at the group, they fired but most of them were devoured or murdered. The few MTF watched in horror as the AIRKs backed away from the group. Suddenly, a huge flash. In front of them was a giant yellow, floating head with shaggy hair with a necklace saying, ' *Cough*, This is me.' The MTFs screamed when the head said,
The MTFs suddenly began crying, and the head opened its mouth and sucked in air. The MTFs flew into the head's mouth, falling down his giant throat. Then, a terrible GULP.